In a struggle of spirit the last few months, the desire to be a published fiction author has faded to nothing. A spiritual path has been taking up my time and attention to the point that any form of writing, any desire to write, has disappeared. I’ve taken my book down from Amazon and after 8 years of trying to get my stories to the attention of readers, none are really flocking to my stories. Either I’m simply out of step with the world of fiction readers, or… no one is at all interested in my story lines. This is not anything for me to cry or bitch about. In fact, it sort of makes it easier for me to pull away and and just let things be.
I’ve been told I have a story to write, but not fiction. As much as I would love to have had a Bromance following, there simply is not an audience for it; which surprises me because the first I knew of others like me was through the Internet. So I know there is an audience, but apparently only for established characters. It seems no one wants to give original characters by Bromance writers a chance. Again, nothing to cry about, just stating the obvious.
So… if ever there is a need for my desire and passion, I’ll step up to the plate again, but for now… I have other things to do then waste my time on stories no one desires to read. That sounds pretty harsh, but it’s the reality, and I have to own it. I have to pursue where my heart is leading me right now.
When writing becomes a chore, something you dread, then it’s no longer a calling. It becomes a job. And frankly, I wanted to have fun. Any desire I had to publish, to market, to advertise, to… whatever… would have been met with excitement and a desire to learn the tools of the trade, but… even that has faded to nothing. I look at it now and there is simply nothing there anymore. It’s gone. Completely. I tried to resuscitate it, practicing a type of denial to what was right in front of me, but… no go. I need to walk away from this.
I may come back in a few years. I may write some non-fiction about my spiritual journey, my fight with cancer, how Led Zeppelin’s music helped me defeat it… who knows? My sister-in-Luv says my story regarding the cancer situation needs to be told. Okay. Maybe. I’ll give it some serious thought. I always thought of myself as a fiction writer, but my strength may just reside in non-fiction, from a first person perspective.
I’ll keep you all posted (If you’re even there.) I’ve taken down the Bromance stuff from this website, because it has no reason to be here anymore. I’ll probably post stuff on my blog located here:
I’ll probably write mostly about my spiritual journey as it exists now. First of all I’m CE-5, Dr. Steven Greer’s movement for people to initiate contact with ETV’s (Extra-Terrestrial Vehicles.) I do believe in ET’s, I do believe they wish to help us. I’ve been studying quite a bit on that, watching David Wilcock’s multiple series on Gaia TV, listening to Michael Tellinger on Gaia, reading the RA material, the Law of One. I’m being drawn to both Hindu teachings as well as Native American. My desire is to study as much as I possibly can and I can’t do that and write fiction novels or stories. Not with a full-time job as well. So…
Onward and upward. The season of fiction writing has been to put to bed. The season of Spirituality is on the rise.
I have to go where my heart leads. And when it comes to writing fiction, my heart is silent.